Sudha Murthy: Fighting in Marriage Is Normal and Healthy

Sudha Murthy just said what millions of couples need to hear: if you never fight with your spouse, you might not be doing marriage right.

The beloved author, philanthropist, and wife of Infosys co-founder Narayana Murty shared refreshingly honest marriage advice at the 2024 India Today Conclave. After more than 50 years together, she's learned that arguments aren't relationship killers. They're simply part of the journey.

"When you are married, you are bound to fight. Accept that," Murthy told the audience. "If you have never fought, then you are not husband and wife."

Her words feel like permission to be human in a world obsessed with perfect social media couples. Real relationships include disagreements, raised voices, and raw emotions. What matters isn't avoiding conflict but handling it with grace.

Murthy's practical tip could save countless arguments from spiraling out of control. When one partner gets upset, the other should stay calm and quiet. Let the storm pass instead of adding fuel to the fire.

"When Murty is angry, I will never talk. Let him pour out," she explained. "When I am angry, he keeps quiet. You should never get upset together because that is the recipe for further fights."

Picture this approach in action: voices rising, emotions running high, but one person chooses silence. Not suppression or defeat, just space for understanding. The pause becomes healing instead of harmful.

Why This Inspires

Murthy's advice isn't about keeping score or swallowing feelings. It's emotional intelligence wrapped in simplicity. By taking turns staying calm, couples create room for resolution instead of escalation.

This wisdom comes from decades of real experience building a life, raising a family, and navigating challenges together. The Murthys haven't stayed married by avoiding problems. They've thrived by meeting conflict with respect and patience.

Young newlyweds and veteran couples alike can apply this immediately. The next heated moment becomes an opportunity to practice calm, to choose connection over being right. One person vents, the other listens, and the relationship stays protected.

In a culture that rarely celebrates imperfect love, Murthy's honesty feels revolutionary. Marriage isn't about never fighting. It's about fighting fair, cooling down together, and choosing each other again after the storm passes.

Her message lands like hope: your arguments don't mean failure, they mean you're human and learning to love someone through all of life's messiness.