Artist's 'Buffalo Grief' Method Helps Thousands Heal

Katie Southworth didn't want to face the anniversary of her mom's death. But instead of distracting herself or pushing through another workday, she chose to be a buffalo.

Southworth, an artist who lost her mother to suicide 11 years ago, shared her healing approach in a viral Instagram video. The concept is simple but powerful: buffaloes are the only animals that walk directly into storms instead of fleeing them, and they do it because moving through the storm is faster than running away.

"Here's what I've learned about grief and trauma: the more you try and run, distract, and replace, the more it stays with you," Southworth wrote. Every August, she feels the pain return to her body, suffocating and isolating. But she's learned that facing those feelings head-on helps them pass more quickly.

The buffalo analogy comes from grief expert David Kessler's book Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. He discovered the concept while watching a documentary about Montana bison that instinctively face storms rather than flee. "The avoidance of grief will only prolong the pain of grief," Kessler writes.

Mental health experts agree that the approach works. Dr. Jennifer Siegel, a board-certified psychiatrist, explains that while avoidance provides short-term relief, it ultimately reinforces the pain. She encourages people to make room for uncomfortable emotions and learn to live alongside them.

Psychotherapist John Sovec adds that grieving like a buffalo means experiencing the full range of emotions without judgment. Walking toward the storm might look different for everyone, whether that's looking at photographs, telling stories, or simply allowing yourself to cry.

Why This Inspires

Southworth's message resonates because it offers permission to feel without shame. She reminds us that grief isn't linear and doesn't follow a schedule. Her courage to share her journey publicly creates space for others to acknowledge their own pain.

The approach doesn't mean rushing through grief or forcing yourself to hurt faster. Instead, it's about trusting that moving toward difficult emotions is the path to genuine healing. Sovec emphasizes that the grief process takes different amounts of time for everyone, and patience is essential.

Southworth's wisdom comes from lived experience. "Grief may be lifelong, but it's always possible to reclaim joy," she tells followers. "Rainbows do come after rain, you just have to fight for it."