Gay Rugby Player Finds Family After Years of Isolation

Kyle Loughman thought he'd given up on rugby forever, but this week he's playing at the Bingham Cup in Brisbane, Australia, surrounded by teammates who embrace exactly who he is.

The 12th Bingham Cup kicked off Thursday with over 30 gay and inclusive rugby clubs from around the world. Named after 9/11 hero Mark Bingham, it's the premier event in international gay rugby.

Loughman grew up in rural Catholic Ireland, where rugby runs deep in his family. His older brother Jeremy even played for Ireland at the 2023 Rugby World Cup.

But when Loughman came out at 12, the sport became isolating instead of joyful. Some teammates didn't want him in the locker room because he was gay.

"I didn't hate the game, but I did hate the environment surrounding it," Loughman says. He walked away before turning 20.

Years later, after moving to California for work in wine and hospitality, he discovered the San Francisco Fog rugby club. Nine months ago, he showed up to practice not knowing a single person.

Walking onto that field felt embracing immediately. The Fog created a space where Loughman could be vulnerable without fear of judgment.

Now he drives an hour and a half twice a week just to train. Rugby has become the part of his week he genuinely looks forward to, reconnecting him with both his family and the sport they all love.

Why This Inspires

Loughman's journey shows how the right community can transform something painful into something powerful. He went from feeling lonely on Irish pitches to standing proud in Brisbane with an international family of clubs.

The Bingham Cup honors pioneers who built inclusive rugby communities when being gay could cost everything. Their work created opportunities for players like Loughman to find belonging.

For anyone who loves rugby but hasn't found their place in it yet, Loughman has simple advice: keep looking. As long as you have cleats and a positive attitude, there's a team that will welcome you.

His San Francisco Fog squad isn't just participating—they're competing to bring home trophies, proving that inclusive teams can excel at the highest levels.

The tournament demonstrates how small the world becomes when people unite through sport, regardless of politics and borders.