Hawaii Families Keep Cousins Connected Through Reunions

First cousins who don't recognize each other at a family gathering sounds like a nightmare scenario for any parent. For Loretta Nekota, it became the spark that launched a 40-year tradition bringing her family together.

When her nieces visiting from the mainland met a nephew at her home decades ago and didn't realize they were related, Nekota knew her family needed help. She brought her siblings together on her next Hawaii trip and proposed a solution: regular family reunions to keep the extended Yan Qoung Ching family connected.

Every other year since, the six surviving siblings of Yan Qoung and Kam Tom Ching gather their families in Honolulu. Relatives fly in from across the continent to celebrate together, ensuring younger generations know their roots and each other.

"We tell the kids that family is very important," Nekota says. "They're the ones that are going to be standing by you till the end of time. And you need to know each other and you need to keep a bind with each other."

The Ching family isn't alone in recognizing this need. This past summer, the Nakasato-Yamashiro family held their first large-scale reunion on Oahu, bringing together more than a hundred relatives spanning multiple generations.

Cousins Steve Nakasato and Mitzi Day organized the gathering after noticing how disconnected family members had become. Their goal wasn't just to plan activities but to create space for genuine connection.

Sunny's Take

What started as a simple get-together revealed something beautiful about what families really need. The organizers expected to keep everyone busy with planned activities, but they discovered the magic happened in the quiet moments.

"We realized fun wasn't just a whole bunch of activities and keeping people busy," Nakasato says. "The fun part was the socialization, the families connecting with each other, so just creating time for everybody to sit and talk."

Day sees these reunions as essential medicine for our disconnected times. "With everyone being so busy, and with the world the way it is, it really helps to have a sense of family and origin and connection, because I think a lot of connections are loosening and just disappearing."

Now the older generation is passing the torch, encouraging younger family members to take over planning future reunions. "Come on, younger generations, you have the skill, you have the energy, and we're ready to share and let you take the reins," Day says.

Both families prove that keeping ohana (family) connected takes intention, but the payoff spans generations.