Love Across the Dinner Table: A Kerala Writer's Journey

When Vivek Surendran from Kannur, Kerala started dating a Jain woman in Delhi, he realized food was about much more than just meals. The self-described "hardcore non-vegetarian" from a coastal town where fish appeared daily never imagined dietary differences could shake a relationship.

Their early dates meant vegetarian-only restaurants. Eventually they progressed to ordering separate dishes at the same table, laughing through the expense of two entrees. It worked until a restaurant accidentally served her chicken instead of her vegetarian order.

That moment taught Surendran something powerful. Food carries identity, belief, and childhood memory in every bite. When those clash, even a shared meal becomes complicated.

His next relationship swung the opposite direction. Dating another enthusiastic meat-eater turned cooking into their love language. They experimented with recipes and indulged freely. The relationship also left him 25 kilos heavier, proving balance matters.

Why This Inspires

Now engaged to a fellow Malayali, Surendran has found his answer. Shared food culture doesn't guarantee happiness, but it removes daily friction. They speak the same culinary language without translation, freeing emotional energy for deeper connection.

His insight resonates beyond Kerala. When couples share food memories, their nervous systems relax together. There's less need to defend instincts or explain why certain flavors mean home.

For couples with different food cultures, Surendran's journey offers gentle wisdom: every meal becomes negotiation, requiring conscious reciprocity to prevent resentment. Love works best when both people feel seen, whether they're sharing biryani or splitting the check on separate curries.

Sometimes the path to understanding runs straight through the kitchen.