Mom Shows What Grieving While Parenting Really Looks Like

Nicole was trying to apply makeup and take her toddler to a play when grief crashed over her like a wave. Her mother had died when she was in postpartum with her son Atticus, and on this particular day, the weight of it all became too much to hide.

In a raw Instagram video, viewers watch Nicole fight through tears while her toddler cheerfully asks for apple juice in the background. She's actively crying, her face red and splotchy, when her child suddenly announces they see a boat outside.

Without missing a beat, Nicole switches gears. She asks questions about the boat, encourages her child to describe it, and listens carefully to their responses while quietly wiping away tears with a cotton swab.

"Oh my god, I feel like I'm going to vomit," she admits to the camera, pulling at her collar and breathing heavily. But just as it looks like she might break down completely, her toddler says something else, and she snaps right back into mom mode.

The video ends with a thumbs up, a small signal that she's okay. In the caption, Nicole wrote simply, "Because both grief & motherhood can be hard & ugly."

Nicole revealed a painful family pattern too. Her grandmother died while Nicole's own mother was in postpartum with her. Now history had repeated itself, leaving Nicole to navigate the impossible task of mothering without her mother.

Why This Inspires

Thousands of parents saw themselves in Nicole's struggle. One viewer who lost both her mother and husband while raising six children wrote, "It's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. You can do this."

Another grieving mother shared, "Grieving while having to be a functioning mom is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm sorry you're going through it right now." Countless others recognized the specific pain of wiping away tears before their children notice.

Nicole's video offers something rare: proof that you can hold two impossible things at once. You can be shattered by grief and still show up for your child. You can feel like vomiting from emotional pain and still ask gentle questions about boats.

Her courage to share this private moment reminds grieving parents everywhere that they're not alone in the struggle.