Mumbai Mom Ditches Perfect Parenting for Being Present

When Merlyn D'souza walks through her front door after work, two little bodies come running for hugs. That moment, she says, reminds her that being a present parent isn't about being available every minute—it's about being completely there when you are.

The Mumbai-based mother of two became a parent in 2020, right when the world felt most uncertain. Having a newborn during the pandemic taught her to focus on what truly mattered, and it wasn't the picture-perfect motherhood she saw online.

Her first pregnancy came with feeding struggles, body changes, hair loss, and the isolation of early COVID-19. "Expecting perfection in the middle of all that is an impossible burden," she says.

Now an Associate Director of Public Relations with a six-year-old daughter and one-year-old son, Merlyn has created her own definition of motherhood. While she works, her husband and in-laws care for the children, which allows her to focus without guilt.

When she returns home, she makes the transition intentional. One of her simple rituals is bathing the children before bedtime—those everyday moments give her time to slow down and reconnect.

Her daughter performs impromptu dances and narrates stories from school. Her one-year-old son needs something different—being held, feeling her warmth, or simply knowing she's nearby while he explores.

For Merlyn, giving both children individual attention isn't about dividing time equally. It's about understanding what each child needs at their particular stage of life.

She's also learned that rest isn't the opposite of good parenting—it's part of it. Her husband often reminds her to take a power nap when she needs one, and that support has helped her see that taking care of herself helps her return with more patience.

Sunny's Take

In a world where social media makes parenting look like a perfectly curated highlight reel, Merlyn's approach feels like fresh air. She's proving that children don't need a flawless mother—they need someone who makes them feel loved, safe, and understood.

One rule is firm in their home: parents don't raise their hands. When there's a tantrum or difficult moment, the focus is on giving children space to process their feelings rather than controlling them through fear.

Her advice to parents who constantly worry about getting it right is simple: understand rather than control, be an emotional anchor for your partner, and let go of comparisons. "We all have our own individual journeys, and we cannot have the same stories to tell," she says.

For Merlyn, motherhood is less about doing everything right and more about making her children feel loved—one hug, one bath time, one silly dance performance at a time.