Nigerian Leader Shares 10 Ways Women Can Support Each Other

When a young widow in Nigeria was publicly shamed online for working to feed her children instead of staying indoors for a year of mourning, the comments exploded with a familiar refrain: "Women are their own worst enemy."

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi, a Nigerian women's rights advocate and former First Lady of Ekiti State, watched that video and decided enough was enough. She's now sharing ten concrete ways women can prove that tired saying wrong.

Her message is clear. Women don't automatically have to like each other, but they can choose solidarity over judgment. "It is not women who are each other's worst enemy, it is patriarchal oppression," she writes.

Adeleye-Fayemi starts with the basics: show up when another woman is struggling. A phone call, text, or visit can break the cycle of isolation. Even women you've clashed with deserve compassion during hard times.

She asks women to stop weaponizing social media against each other. The constant fights and public shaming for monetization aren't worth the damage they cause. If you can't say something constructive, just scroll past.

For women in leadership, her advice is simple but powerful. Don't kick the ladder down once you reach the top. Mentor younger women, recruit qualified candidates, and leave the door open for others to follow.

Why This Inspires

Adeleye-Fayemi's approach transforms an age-old accusation into an action plan. She acknowledges that yes, women can hurt each other, but she refuses to accept that as inevitable. Instead, she's creating a blueprint for change that starts with individual choices.

Her call extends to family relationships too. Treat your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law with genuine care, not competition. Show empathy for women in public life who face amplified criticism that men rarely endure.

The essay has resonated across Nigeria and beyond because it names a painful pattern without weaponizing it. Adeleye-Fayemi isn't denying that betrayal happens. She's simply asking: what if we decided to be different?

Her ten-point guide isn't naive optimism. It's a practical toolkit built from years of advocacy work and honest observation. Each suggestion addresses real scenarios where women face a choice between judgment and grace.

The young widow who sparked this latest conversation is still working, still providing for her children, and hopefully feeling a bit more supported now. That's the ripple effect Adeleye-Fayemi is counting on.

One woman choosing solidarity over criticism can shift an entire conversation, and ten concrete actions can dismantle a harmful stereotype one decision at a time.