Psychologist: Real Self-Care Costs Nothing

Forget the bubble baths and retail therapy. Real self-care might actually feel uncomfortable, and it definitely doesn't require opening your wallet.

Dr. Raquel Martin, a licensed psychologist, shared a video in July 2024 that challenged everything we think we know about taking care of ourselves. Her message struck a chord with viewers who've been told that self-care means treating yourself to expensive indulgences.

Martin gets straight to the point. Self-care for her means not answering every phone call, especially when she doesn't have the energy for a conversation. It's saying no to invitations she doesn't want to accept, sticking to a budget, and skipping caffeine after 4 p.m.

None of these actions involve spending money. Many of them actually involve not spending money, which Martin admits can feel terrible in the moment.

"Sometimes self-care sucks," Martin explains in her video. "It sucks not buying that item that I know I'm gonna want, but I need to have some discipline to buy it later."

The wellness industry has transformed self-care into something unrecognizable from its original purpose. What started as a mental health concept has become synonymous with pedicures, vacations, and hour-long massages. These activities aren't bad, but presenting them as essential self-care isolates people who can't afford them.

Licensed psychologist Alicia H. Clark notes that indulgence stops being self-care when it makes you feel guilty or unhappy with yourself. For people who struggle with self-discipline, the "treat yourself" mentality can actually cause harm rather than healing.

Why This Inspires

Martin's honesty about the uncomfortable side of self-care is giving people permission to redefine wellness on their own terms. Her approach costs nothing but requires something arguably harder: discipline and boundaries.

Viewers flooded her comments with gratitude. One massage therapist thanked her for the clarity, saying she'd share the list with patients. Another commenter appreciated Martin's advice about taking breaks from consuming difficult news, admitting they often turn to children's books for balance.

The truth is, self-care simply means taking care of yourself. It's drinking more water, getting a few minutes of exercise, spending time with friends, or leaving your phone in another room. It's making choices today that your future self will thank you for tomorrow.

Real self-care isn't always fun, but it actually works.