Rugby Star Ellie Kildunne Opens Up on Eating Disorder Recovery

World Cup champion and World Player of the Year Ellie Kildunne is breaking her silence about a battle she fought off the rugby pitch.

The 26-year-old England rugby star recently opened up about struggling with body dysmorphia and disordered eating during the coronavirus lockdown. Isolated from her team environment and support system, Kildunne found herself trapped in an unhealthy cycle of weight loss and distorted self-image.

"I could probably see myself getting a little bit smaller, but then was still trying to chase being smaller on top of that," Kildunne told BBC Sport. She described how body dysmorphia warped her perception: "I would have been small but I would see myself as bigger in the mirror."

The isolation made everything worse. Without daily access to team physios and teammates, Kildunne developed what she calls "a terrible relationship with food."

She also faced conflicting messages about her body. "In the rugby world, I'm considered small, but in my world outside rugby, I was considered big, so I never really had that place where I felt comfortable," she explained.

The turning point came during a conversation with England physio Emily Ross, where Kildunne broke down in tears. Admitting the problem out loud changed everything.

"I knew I had a problem but I never wanted to admit it," she said. "But as soon as you say something out loud to somebody that creates accountability."

Why This Inspires

Kildunne's courage to speak publicly about her struggle sends a powerful message to athletes and young people everywhere. Mental health challenges don't discriminate based on success or talent.

Since that breakthrough conversation, Kildunne has gone on to achieve remarkable success. She was instrumental in England's historic World Cup victory last year, scoring five tries including a spectacular solo effort in the 33-13 final win against Canada at a sold-out Twickenham.

She earned the title of World Player of the Year in 2024 and finished as runner-up for BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Just last Saturday, she scored in England's 33-12 Six Nations victory over Ireland.

But Kildunne remains honest about her ongoing journey. "I wouldn't say I've got a bad relationship with food now," she stated. "But it's something that you've always got to be conscious of because I know that I've got those habits somewhere."

Her willingness to share her story while still managing the challenge shows true strength. By speaking openly, she's creating space for others to seek help without shame.

Champions aren't defined by never struggling but by how they rise and help others do the same.