Science Says: Stop Stressing About Canceling Plans

That knot in your stomach when you need to cancel dinner plans might be completely unnecessary, according to new research from Norway.

Esra Aslan at the Norwegian School of Economics discovered something reassuring: the people on the receiving end of your cancellation are usually much more understanding than you fear. In fact, we dramatically overestimate how upset or disappointed they'll be.

The research addressed a gap that Aslan noticed in her own life. Previous studies looked at how people react when plans fall through, but nobody had measured how accurately we predict those reactions when we're the ones canceling.

Aslan got the idea after canceling a meet-up herself and realizing she'd been worrying unnecessarily. Her studies confirmed what she suspected: there's a big disconnect between our anxiety about canceling and the actual response we get.

The findings suggest something simple but powerful. Most people understand that life happens, schedules change, and energy levels fluctuate.

Why This Inspires

This research offers permission to be human without the guilt trip. We've all been on both sides of a cancellation, and most of us know how it feels when plans don't work out.

The study reminds us that the kindness we extend to others when they cancel is likely the same kindness they'll give us. We're not letting people down as badly as we think.

In a culture that often glorifies being busy and saying yes to everything, this research validates the importance of boundaries. Taking care of yourself by occasionally saying no doesn't make you a bad friend.

It's a small finding with big implications for mental health and relationships. Imagine all the stress we could avoid by simply trusting that people will understand.

The next time you need to bow out of plans, remember: the other person is probably more understanding than the worst-case scenario playing in your head.