Woman Shares 3 'Compliments' That Actually Hurt Disabled People

Jackie Lopez can do just about anything you can do, but she uses her feet instead of hands.

After losing her arms in an accident at age three, Lopez learned to eat, cook, play video games, and wrap Christmas gifts using her feet. She's lived her entire adult life this way, and she's got a message for the world: some of your "compliments" aren't helping.

In a viral TikTok video, Lopez shared three common comments that disabled people hear constantly. The first one drives her up the wall: "I could never do what you do."

"I had no other option but to use my feet as my hands," Lopez explained. While the comment might feel supportive, it creates distance between disabled and able-bodied people, making Lopez feel "othered" rather than understood.

The second comment stings even more: "My problems suddenly seem so small." Lopez wants people to know their struggles are still valid, even if they're different from hers.

"Girl, just complain," she said in her video. "If I were you and I had hands, best believe I would complain, too." She doesn't want people feeling guilty about their own challenges just because hers look different.

The third comment cuts deepest: "God gives the hardest struggles to the strongest people." Growing up hearing this in church, Lopez felt like people were treating her accident as some divine test rather than a life event she simply had to adapt to.

"Keep your belief to yourself and don't put it on me," she asked. "I went through this, not you."

The video sparked thousands of responses from other disabled people who shared their own frustrating "compliments." Some hate being called "inspirational" just for existing. Others cringe when people say "I'd rather die" than live with their disability.

Sunny's Take

What makes Lopez's message so powerful is its simplicity. She's not asking for pity or praise. She's asking to be seen as a regular person living her regular life, which happens to look different from yours.

The comment section filled with people thanking Lopez for helping them understand how their well-meaning words might land. One commenter perfectly captured it: "While you're sitting commenting that you 'couldn't imagine' living her life, she's eating soup and making a TikTok like any other person."

Lopez isn't trying to police kindness. She's inviting us all to slow down and think before we speak, even when our intentions are good. That kind of thoughtfulness benefits everyone, disabled or not.

Sometimes the best compliment is simply treating someone like the capable person they already are.