Death Doula Shares How to Stop Fearing the 'Elephant

Drew Barrymore recently did something most celebrities avoid: she got real about her absolute terror of death on national television.

The actress and talk show host welcomed death doula Diane Button onto The Drew Barrymore Show to discuss how we can stop "monkey gripping" our fear of dying. Barrymore shared that she's been terrified her whole life, imagining death as an endless black room.

Button's response offered a refreshingly honest perspective. She didn't promise to erase the fear completely because death is genuinely unknown and scary. Instead, she suggested we acknowledge it differently.

"The fear of death is really the biggest elephant in the room," Button explained. "So the idea is, can you embrace the elephant? Can you befriend death a little bit?"

The goal isn't to ignore death or obsess over it. Button wants us to acknowledge it exists, talk about our fears openly, and then "shrink it and put it in a corner" so we can actually live fully in the present.

Button shared a powerful exercise she uses with clients called a mini life review. She asks people to imagine their final gathering and notice who walks into the room. Those are your people, the ones who matter most.

She also suggests asking yourself what you'll miss when you die. The music you love, the traditions you cherish, the small human moments that make life beautiful. These answers reveal what deserves your attention right now.

Why This Inspires

This conversation touched thousands because Button flipped the script on death anxiety. Instead of treating fear as something to conquer or hide, she validated it while offering practical tools to prevent it from controlling our lives.

One commenter shared Betty White's refreshing take: she saw death as an adventure and a secret she'd finally learn. Another noted that grief is simply the other side of love, and letting it work through us can be beautiful.

Barrymore herself pointed out something profound during the segment. When you imagine who's actually in that final room with you, it becomes clear who deserves your energy today and who doesn't.

Button came to this work young, at just 15 years old, working in a home for elderly people and later in hospital emergency rooms. She noticed the difference between people who had time to reflect on meaningful lives and those who died suddenly without sharing their hearts.

Her message is ultimately about living well right now by making peace with the one thing we all share.