Writer Carly Findlay Chooses Self-Love Over 'Cures

At six years old, Carly Findlay became a living exhibit at dermatology conferences, lying in thin-walled cubicles while doctors discussed her rare skin condition without even using her name. The young girl with ichthyosis was so cold and uncomfortable that she started charging doctors money for each look, turning medical observation into a childhood peepshow.

The Melbourne writer spent years being photographed near-naked in hospital basements and offered dangerous treatments that promised to fix her appearance. One lunch changed everything: meeting a woman whose "cure" had destroyed her liver and stolen her chance at motherhood made young Carly realize she didn't want that future.

She made a choice that would define her life. While she'd accept help for pain, she refused to change her appearance to make others comfortable.

Sunny's Take

Carly's self-love faced its biggest test at 42 when doctors diagnosed her with both ovarian and endometrial cancer. Surgery, chemotherapy, and early menopause left her body feeling unrecognizable, and the treatment ravaged her already sensitive skin in ways that made her question whether she could survive.

Sheets of skin peeled off in the shapes of her body parts. The pain became so intense during treatment that she felt she'd rather die than continue.

But her body, trained by years of living with ichthyosis, proved incredibly resilient. Going bald from chemotherapy, Carly felt beautiful and stood taller than ever, her nice-shaped head becoming another part of herself to celebrate.

Today, she shows up exactly as she is, wearing bright clothes that make her happy. Strangers stop her on Melbourne streets to compliment both her outfits and her writing, seeing the whole person rather than just a diagnosis.

Her husband loves her completely, but Carly knows that finding romantic love isn't her greatest win. Learning to love the body that others wanted to fix, medicate, and change is the real achievement.

She speaks kindly to herself now and moves gently every day, accepting her body's limits while celebrating its strengths. It can't regulate temperature well, but it survived treatment that would break many people.

After decades of being excluded, medicalized, and told she didn't meet beauty standards, Carly discovered a simple truth: loving herself is easier than hating herself.